Sunday, February 12, 2012

Ok...heres a question for the smart alex,and sams, and johns....?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?


Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?


Can you get cornered in a round room?


Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?


Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?


Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?


If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)








Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?


Are marbles made of marble?


Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?


"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?


Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?


Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?


If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?


Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?


When French people swear do they say pardon my English?


Can you make a candle out of your earwax?


Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?


If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?


If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?


Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?


Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?


Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?


When people say, "I鈥檓 so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?


Do stairs go up or down?


Why do bullies always ask "what鈥檚 your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?


Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?


Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?


If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?


Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities they are put in an mental hospital, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?


Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?


Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?


How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?


If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?


Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?


Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?


Can a person with no ears wear glasses?


If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?


If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?


What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?


Why doesn't baking soda freeze?


Do bald people get dandruff?


Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?


"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"


If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?


When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?


How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?


Whats a question with no answer called?


Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?


Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?


Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?


How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?


Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?


Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?


How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?


Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.


Why is there a little countdown (like 8, 7, 6, 5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright info page in the beginning of many books?


If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?


Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it?


When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?


Is it possible to be allergic to water?


What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?


Why is there never a full English dinn|||If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?


-no, against beliefs


Why don'If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?


-no, against beliefs


Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?


-Because they're thicker


Can you get cornered in a round room?


-no


Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?


-yeah, but they think it's crazy


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


-no, they just have the same 3 letters.


Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?


-it's not a trap, but metaphorically yeah i guess


Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm


gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?


-Some one who likes chickens a long time ago. Just like Leonardo Da Vinci liked opening dead bodies


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?


-Someone desperate, %26amp; possibly perverted


Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?


-Because it's silly, and a song for children


If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)


-You should, but i think there are too many people


Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?


-Because it's most melted and slides everywere with the water from other ice


Are marbles made of marble?


- yeah


Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?


- yeah


"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?


- Because they used to make heart shaped buttons that were cute


Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?


- yes


Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?


-yes


If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?


-yes, probably


Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?


-Yeah, but there's "soul mates" that find eachother eventually.


When French people swear do they say pardon my English?


-no


Can you make a candle out of your earwax?


- yes


Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?


- Yes, the parents will watch it %26amp; show the child the parts were HE is in. But if he's the character %26amp; is going to a movie theater, yeah they'll let him


If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?


-yes


If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?


-no


Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?


-So they won't think a phone is a calculator


Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?


-probably


Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?


- You do use it, when you write the tittle at the top. So you know where the essay bieng written part begins.


When people say, "I鈥檓 so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?


-Because people laugh at cruel humor, but not really really cruel humor.


Do stairs go up or down?


- up


Why do bullies always ask "what鈥檚 your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?


- So they know the reason they're doing it


Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores?


-yes


Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?


-yes


If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?


-no


Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities they are put in an mental hospital, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?


- because they are new to the world, and don't know what's real or not yet


Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?


-stars


Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?


-sure


How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?


- Because they are no longer natural or as nutritional, they've been fried


If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?


- they would continue


Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?


- probably


Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)?


-no


Can a person with no ears wear glasses?


-no, but contacts yes


If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?


- no


If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?


-Yes, lol I tried it before.


What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?


-he would


Why doesn't baking soda freeze?


-because it's a solid


Do bald people get dandruff?


-it's possible


Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?


- NO


"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"


-Captain


If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in half, would you have two crumbs or two halves of a crumb?


-2 crumbs. Crumbs can be any size. %26amp; are parts from larger pieces duh


When a store has double doors why do they only let you use one of them?


-Because one is for people going in, the other is for out. And it's more formal


How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?


- They mean to not walk on the grass from now on


Whats a question with no answer called?


- A rhetorical question. Mystery, or unknown


Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?


-Because it means to LOOK up


Are there pink lemons that make pink lemonade?


-no, they use food coloring


Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?


-NO. What questions you ask / got from a site


How come lotion is colored, but when you put it on, it doesn't turn your skin that color?


-Because it goes INside your skin, and doesn't have ALOT of color added to it. It contains more white, than the other.


Are tomatoes fruits or vegetables?


-Fruits, because they have seeds. Vegtables don't


Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of


explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?


- It's called a hipicrit. And you're not doing it for nothing, it's a holiday. There are exceptions


How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?


-because those are the smallest parts of your body


Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs


-Because children who are the players in finding the eggs, don't know about reproduction, and the parents don't want them to know. The rabbit gets the eggs from the chickens.


Why is there a little countdown (like 8, 7, 6, 5, 4) near the bottom of the copyright info page in the beginning of many books?


-Number of volumes or books created. I don't read, but that's what i'm guessing.


If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?


-Chewing


Why do cats like to dig their paws into something before they lay down on it?


- To make it comfortable


When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?


-They probably wouldn't even.


Is it possible to be allergic to water?


-No, your body is 75 % water


What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?


-Because if they really didn't want them to ask, they'd say "NO" in between their question


Why is there never a full English dinn


-Because it's legal|||hi, yu are all huge boobies!!!!!!!





but in a nice way....if ya know wat i mean





:D

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|||i'm sry but i couldn't relly understand it it's relly long but good


star for putting those smart alecs in there place|||its way too long.


sorry|||yeah, why dont the hairs on our arms get split ends?|||If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible? yes


Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends? too short


Can you get cornered in a round room? yes, but you have to have 3 other people


Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? as long as they know the alhabet, illeterate means you cant read. not that you dont know the alphabet


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? no


Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? no, because you can leave


Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"? john jacob jingleheimer schmidt


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? people like to squeeze things..


Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni? cuz hes cool like that


If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived) depends on how hard it crashes








Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup? because of suction and water or whatever drink you have


Are marbles made of marble? some the first ones were


Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time? yes, it takes practice


"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute? yes it is, and they never have been


Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time? yes, cuz you cant see thru clouds


Can a fire truck park in the fire lane? yes, thats what its for


If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? no. you have to replace it. they just keep the money and drugs


Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? no


When French people swear do they say pardon my English? no, theyre too arrogant. they say paardon my swahili


Can you make a candle out of your earwax? if you store up enough


Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? yes, anything is possible in hollywood


If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit? find where the sky ends and space starts and then you tell me


If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers? no, hooters on the go


Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up? why not?


Do coffins have lifetime guarantees? no. some of them break when the dirt goes on them


Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it? cuz otherwise we wouldnt knopw where to start


When people say, "I鈥檓 so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place? its like when people accidentally hurt themselves and you laugh


Do stairs go up or down? both


Why do bullies always ask "what鈥檚 your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it? cuz theyr curious


Do they have burglar alarms at Christian bookstores? nobodys gunna rob a christian bookstore anyways, but yes. they do


Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket? who ever said you cant?


If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart? no, it turns into 2 burps


Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities they are put in an mental hospital, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute? why dont u ask someone thata ctually knows the answer


Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David? both


Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach? yes


How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes? a potatoe isnt a vegetable, its a tuber


If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop? theyd keep going cuz they lose muscle control


Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too? no


Do the actors in the re-enactments on Americas most wanted, ever get arrested (because they were seen on TV portraying the criminal)? yeah that has happened


Can a person with no ears wear glasses? onlky with the magic of duct tape


If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee? depends how un zen the movie place is


If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty? yes


What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes? its against the rules, so the genie goes away


Why doesn't baking soda freeze? cuz its a solid so its already technically frozen


Do bald people get dandruff? yeah but you cant see it


Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing? yes, it has happened


"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?" captain


If there was a crumb on the table and you cut it in h|||1. under the pains and penalties of perjury


2. they are not exposed to elements or abused long enough to split


3. yes if 3 people or more surround you.


4. only if they don't play with their food.


5. no


6. it is a money trap operated by other people


7. wow no info on that one


8. or that one


9. it rhymed with the song


10. actually you get a lot more than that!!


11. nothing to keep it off the cup


12. no, they are made of glass


13. yes you can


14. it is a compliment


15. yes it can


16. I don't know what a fire lane is but the fire parking yes


17. not if you did a crime


18. not if you wait on the right things


19. don't know can't speak French


20. No


okay that was fun but I am over it someone take the rest....

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