Why did he hang himself?

I had a distant relative, who lived in a totally different country, far away from me. In 2003, I went to visit his family with my mum. He fell in love with me immediately. I did too (though not as serious as him). He wanted to marry me. I was only 21 and very afraid. Then I returned to my country and forgot about him. I told him it won't work out since his dad wouldn't agree (his dad just opposes love for no reason). I never thought about him till I visited his family again in 2006. I was there for 2 weeks but we never talked. Before I left, we got 30 minutes time alone. He took me to a bookstore (upon my request). I shopped and we returned. He teared and told me how much he still loved me.



I came back to my country again, feeling very depressed. I thought I will give him a chance again. I agreed to marry him and even resigned my job, ready to leave my country and be with him. But again, his father disagreed. Then I told him to come to my country instead. He said he can't saying that he's afraid something (like death) might happen to his dad. I was very upset, felt cheated, that he made me go thru so much, all my frens and family knew, I lost my job because of him and he was unwilling to even make a small sacrifice for me. I cried becoz I thought that if he really loved me, he would come and be with me, whether or not his father agrees.



I moved on, telling myself, I will never think of him again, for the pain he gave me and my family. Then he came. A year later, when I've already met my husband now. I refused to talk to him. I refused to even see him. And he left. I married my husband (whom he never met). Then he came again, last week. He stayed in my aunt's place. Throughout the time here, he kept telling them I didn't talk to him and how much he still loves me. He saw me and my husband and I only managed to say a "Hi." I didn't talk to him, although deep down inside, I wanted to say a few more things than just a hi. But I didn't because now I'm married, and he's not. I was afraid, that if I talk to him, I will cause him more pain. So I did not talk to him. So he returned to his country within 4 days. Then just 2 days ago, he hung himself in his room. Everyone blames his dad now (for not agreeing to let him marry me). I blame myself. I blame God. I blame life. My sis said he died and proved his love for me.



Why did he kill himself? Did he not know that there'll be many who will grief over his death? I can't help but cry. What will happen to his soul now? There's plenty of Christian/Islamic belief that when one commits suicide, they will suffer for eternity and go to hell. I don't want that to happen to him. Is there a way I can save his soul? Is there a way I can say sorry? Why did he hang himself?
Amazing story, the way you phrased this and the words you used made it seem so real to me and even though I have never experienced a similar situation like this in my life, I feel like I can connect and try and give you some thoughtful and insightful advice... Here goes....



First of all, it's not your fault, I think his father was being too harsh and too negative in this matter. You did all you can, there was nothing more that could be done, He choose suicide because he needed a way out, he thought all hope was lost for him and thought that the girl of his dreams (you) would never accept him and see him ever again....



Love can be painful sometimes, however you moved on and found a man whom you dearly love (your husband) and he should have moved on as well. Somethings we're just never meant to be, no matter how much someone wants it.



I feel sorry for this man, from what you said, he seemed like a loving caring guy. However what he didn't comprehend was that there are plenty of women out there, and even though the girl of his dreams moved on and faded away, that shouldn't have stopped him from getting out there and finding the right woman for him. He should have left this in the past and moved forward, and kept an open mind on life.....sadly he chose the cowards way out....





Today, at this moment there's nothing you can do but pray and hope that he's ok and well wherever he may be. Don't let his death affect you, grieve today and love tomorrow, because life is unexpected and you don't want to dwell and dwell for the rest of your days. You found the man of your dreams, you married him now it's time to move on and see where life will take you....





Take Care the road you choose out there.....





Best



Jordan
Yes if you are of Catholic faith you can pray his soul into heaven. Why did he hang himself?
i think he was up normal

end it and move on ,dont blame god and dont be silly ,god isnt your kid ,he is your GOD
Sweetie. You didn't do anything wrong at all. He's the one that hung him self... It's his fault not you. Why did he hang himself?
You can't blame yourself for this. There was nothing you did wrong. He made the choice to end his life. He might have been depressed and mad at himself for not making the sacrifice to be with you.



All you can do is ask God to forgive this man's transgression. Believe that God hears you and will answer your prayer if your heart is pure.
Thank you SS for your question I am sadden to hear your story I know you and his family are in great pain. It is very sad when someone chooses to end their life it means they have given up all hope. I pray that your heart will be healed and that you will come into a closer relationship with God. God is the only one who can heal your heart and ease your pain, you can say you are sorry by forgiving him for this act and at the same time by not blaming yourself his family or God. I wish you the very best I hope all your prayers, plans and dreams come true. May goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your life and may you dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. It is not your fault. He was mentally ill; healthy people don't commit suicide. He probably didn't think about the people he was leaving behind and how much his actions would hurt them. He was too sick to see beyond his own pain and his illness that convinced him that suicide was the only way out. I'm a Christian but I don't believe that those who commit suicide are condemned to Hell. I don't see God punishing someone like that for having a mental illness. I see God as pitying someone who was so miserable and sick that they saw suicide as a viable option. Of course, you will have to search for your own personal answers in your spirituality but I for one believe that those who commit suicide may still enter Heaven. Of course you can pray for him regardless. You can also talk to him, aloud or silently. I find that talking to those who have died brings a lot of peace and closure.



I know how hard the pain is. My aunt hung herself 11 years ago when I was a child (11 years old) and I still remember how painful and awful it was in the beginning. It will get better. You will miss him and probably will always have questions but things will get better. Even as a child I wondered what I could've done, but I realized it wasn't my fault and I refused to ruin my life by holding onto guilt for someone else's decision. It's okay to feel overwhelming emotions, it's okay to cry and cry and cry. It's okay to get to a point where you feel numb, or angry or want to deny that any of this has even happened. Dealing with suicide is a very hard grieving process. You might consider joining a local grief group or group for survivors of suicide. If you are uncomfortable meeting in a group, there are resources online that explain more about suicide and the healing process afterwards. I hope you know that you are not alone. There are a lot of families who have lost loved ones to suicide, it's just so painful that many people don't talk about it openly. Please take good care of yourself. Please don't blame yourself. You are a good person. You are not alone. God Bless You.