What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?

mine is this:

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.



Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!



I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is...and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!



While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!"



What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!



There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.



Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing ... he was enjoying this religious experience, too!



A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.



Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
wow I am not reading that



Four gay guys are sitting in a hot tube and a condom floats up. What does one of them say?



"Who farted?"
why did the chicken cross the road?What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
women's rights
Your moms so fat when I swerved out the way I ran outta petrol%26lt;3What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
I cant believe i read that, that was sooo bad.
so... a little boy went to school one day and his teacher told him to learn the 1st five letters of the alphabet so when the boy went home that day he asked his sister who was listening to music what the 1st letter of the alphabet is and she said "Shut up, Shut up" so he asked his brother who was watching TV what the 2nd letter of the alphabet is and he said "na na na na na na na na batman!" next the boy asked his dad who was watching football what the 3rd letter of the alphabet is and he said "Go Go Go Go" Then the boy asked his mom who was cooking what the 4th letter of the alphabet is and she said "My buns are ready" lastly the boy asked the garbage man what the 5th letter of the alphabet is and he says "In the garbage, In the garbage"

So at school the next day the teacher asks him whats the first five letters of the alphabet?

and he says...

"Shut up, Shut up"

Teacher- "Who do you think you are"

Boy- "na na na na na ma na na Batman!"

Teacher- "Do you need to go to the principles office?"

Boy- "Go Go Go Go"

at the principles office...

Principle- "Do you need a spanking?!"

Boy- "My Buns are ready"

Principle- "Where do you live?"

Boy- "In the garbage, In the garbage"
"My wife hasn't stopped looking through the damn window since it started snowing....... If it gets any heavier, I'll have to let her in!"

and

"I recently got a job putting up mirrors. It's something I could always see myself doing."
Jim the boss takes his star employee, Joe, out to his golf club. On the way boss tells him to act appropriately as this is the most exclusive club in the world. All the way around the course Joe keeps saying what an amazing place this is. Jim tells him, like I said this is the most exclusive club in the world. As they're walking off the course toward the club house they notice a large group at the first hole and Joe asks whats going on over there. Jim looks at his watch and says its Tuesday at noon, Jesus Christ must be teeing off. No way, Joe says. Jim says that Jesus plays every Tuesday, like I said its the most exclusive club in the world. So they walk over to the first tee and Joe on looking says your right that really is Jesus Christ but who is the old guy with him. Jim says he's never seen him before so they watch them tee off and Jesus goes first. The hole is over water and Jesus duffs his shot and right before it goes into the water, He raises His hands and the lake freezes over, the ball rolls across and onto the green stopping a foot from the hole. Huge round of applause from the crowd. The old guy tees his ball up and prompty hits it toward the trees, before the ball goes into the trees a squirel grabs it and starts running down the side of the lake as a hawk swoops down and grabs the squirel and takes off over the green where upon the squirel drops the ball and it bounces into the hole. Jesus looks at the old guy and says, Nice shot, Dad
That Dumbledore was the greatest wizard ever to live.
Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says 'Do you know how fast you were going?' Heisenberg says 'No, but I know where I am.'



Renee Descartes walks into a bar, the bartender says 'sir can I get you a martini 'Descartes says 'I don't think...' and he disappears



Two atoms bump into each other. One says ' I think I lost an electron! ' The other asks, ' Are you sure? ', to which the first replies, ' I'm positive.'



A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?



Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees"