The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker.
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put in on my bumper.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.
I found that LOTS of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and when he leaned out of his window and screamed, "for the love of God, GO! GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus.
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people.
I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love. There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach...
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. When I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
My grandson burst out laughing, why even he was enjoying this religious experience.
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folksWhat is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
There once was a little bread shop not too far from a school. An extremely voluptuous, beautiful, long-legged blonde girl, who always wore very short skirts, worked behind the counter.
One day after school, a boy stopped in at the little bread shop to get some raisin bread for his mother. The raisin bread was kept on the top shelf behind the counter, so the blonde girl had to climb a ladder to get at it.
When the young boy looked up, he was thrilled and amazed at the sight of the blonde girl in her short skirt. He told all his friends at school then next day. From then on, everyday after school, the boys would stop in at the little bread shop and order a loaf of raisin bread, one at a time. This soon became a daily occurrence.
One afternoon, while the blonde girl was perched on the ladder awaiting the arrival of the young boys, an elderly man walked into the little bread shop. Because she had her back turned to the store's entrance, she assumed it was boys who had arrived for their raisin bread.
Without glancing over her shoulder, the unaware blonde girl reached for the bread and said, "It's raisin, right?"
The old geezer stared in amazement at the sight of the blonde girl perched on the ladder, who didn't appear to be wearing any panties. As he adjusted his pant leg, he replied, "Raisin? No, but it's definitely twitchin'."What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
A grasshopper walks into a bar and leaps up onto the counter. He says to the bartender "I'll have a scotch and soda." The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you." And the grasshopper says "You've got a drink named Irving?"What is the funniest joke you've ever heard?
HAHAHAHA THAT IS HILARIOUS! sorry i dont know any good jokes besides.
There were three brotheres named Shut up Manners ans $hit. they had a car accident and $hit was on the floor knocked out. Shut up went to a nearby police officor while manners was helping up $hit.
"before you report something whats your name?" asked the cop.
"shut up" replied shut up truthfully.
"do you have any manners boy?" asked the cop furiously.
"yes i do sir, infact his picking up $hit on the road!"
Parrot with an Attitude :D
This has been posted before, but if you haven't read it yet, its a pretty good one.
An elderly woman went to her local bakery to pick up a loaf of bread when she noticed the owner had bought the most beautiful brightly colored parrot she had ever seen.
To her horror, however, when she asked the parrot if it could speak, it retorted, "Of course I can, you stupid old hag!" Totally taken aback, she just bought her bread and stormed off. The next time she came back the parrot shrieked, "Stupid old hag! Stupid old hag! ha! ha!"
Totally outraged, she complained to the owner and threatened to take her business elsewhere if this continued. So, the owner commanded the parrot to stop and assured her it would not happen again.
The next time she came in the shop, she glared at the parrot who remained speachless. "So, you have anything to say to me this time, you nasty ole' bird?" "Yes", the parrot retored. "What?" the lady demanded. "You know" the parrot responded with a wink and a smile.
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